finally understand the feeling of imminent closure. amidst clearing bits of off and leave, went home for the first time in 2 years on a weekday afternoon with the sun still out and the train packed with young students staking their claim to the revels of the day. A feeling unexperienced and almost forgotten.

when faith mentioned, months ago, about resurrecting those halcyon long gone days of blackadder, it startled me in realizing that my predominant memory of those days before army was holing up in ians house till late watching seasons upon seasons of blackadder with ian and faith after studying till the night. not to mention saturday nights and the occasional snl episode shown on tv.

What of last year? meeting up with friends the day before enlistment at NYDC, to discover all of us with our hair shaved to near baldness and everyone wearing thick black-rimmed spectacles. laughing it off, eating. walking along lorong asrama with blistered feet in file formation, weapon slung to the ready, green in front, to the sides, behind, and suddenly being hit with a wave of self-pitying existential depression that made me feel shitty for a week. In school of armour, getting fucked after a lousy battle course, told by the instructor i was useless and that i had an integrity problem. overcoming demons and doubt. sleeping on the ramp of a tank in taiwan and waking up in the middle of the night in near zero temperature near death shivering. comissioning with a sigh of relief.

going to phuket later. going off to get supplies now. shall update when there is more time.


2 Responses to “47.”

  1. have fun, eat more, be fat, get laid.

  2. 2 Ant

    Don’t be sad. You can always get to your handphone and call a friend, SAF hotline, Medical Centre (here at Medical Centre we are all your friends! Yay happy medical centre staffies). And the instructor was wrong and I think not a friend or even foe of yours would agree with him. He merely mouthed the words in his ignorance to spite you.

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